A big fat joyous welcome home!

All you have to do is read one more 10/30/17

The impossible

I guess sitting here in this little office where ive been so grateful for wifi and air conditioning is making me all nostalgic.. snif.

or maybe it's the fact that this is the last email. lol. watch out nicholas sparks

well its been a walk to remember.

imma try and keep this short... theres so many thoughts and feelings rolling through my personal space today. actually its been a while that i feel like that. like, 18 months.

It's sometimes fun to think of how much fun God had when he created us and our complicated little brains, think about it. our knowledge is so small compared to His and everything he has and is, and yet we overcomplicate everything. Perhaps the smarter we are, the more simple life all seems to us. at least thats how i feel after 18 months of becoming more smart. I cant say ive become smart in the eyes of the world. i didnt learn SQUAT about computer systems or mathematics or hyperboles.

but i feel more intelligent anyway

before my mission i wrote a little book for young womens personal progress and i called that book "what smiles are made of." it was full of things that made me happy and had all these cute pictures of nature that id taken with my iphone. :) rainbows and butterflies for days. it made my mom proud at least hahaha it was cute ok?

i guess all of this that im saying has to do with the fact that i feel like im made of different things now. the heart that is in my chest is the same one that i had there a year and a half ago and it beats at the same rate.. i think, but now my heart is full of a thousand names and faces that used to be strangers to me. people that never in all my life i would have thought i would become close to. im made of their stories, of their challenges and of their senses of humor. ive seen people change and become completely different people and it doesnt make any sense to the eye of the beholder, if he or she doesnt understand what is happening underneath. the truth is, we all dont understand each other because there is no mortal who can read the mind or feel the feelings of another person, not that i know of. BUT! and i am grateful to say that i know this with my entire being

there is someone who (thankfully) knows those things, and therefore knows exactly what to do to solve every single problem that exists within each one of us, and he helps us when and if we are willing to walk into his arms that are always open to receive us. then he helps us, he changes us, and sometimes that change is painful. we have to adjust certain things, we have to let our pride go, put our head down, promise to be a good kid and stop living selfishly and just help others

and in return this man, our Savoir Jesus Christ gives us a pathway and an eternal helping hand that leads to things we cannot imagine with these small brains God created for us. at least now we dont know the extent of joy that we will have if we are simply FAITHFUL and valliantly so to be able to follow Him.

And that is what has been changed in me personally. my heart is made of palm trees, dark skin, small skinny black eyed children flying kites in the road. bathrooms with holes in the walls and no one cares because theres no snow anyway, one bottle of water for the entire family and no one cares because we are all brothers and sisters who have the same germs. i dont know what carpet is anymore or what it means to sleep underneath large blankets or not have a super strango tanline. the cars that got stuck in tiny tiny roads and the chicken we eat for every meal along with rice and melted snow cone juice. that every time we walk into certain houses it smells like fish and in other houses it smells like coconut oil, and rarely rarely do i feel like the servant of god, i feel like the one being served. the millions of kisses planted on my head from all sorts of different lips everywhere and the complaints of poor papi tautu that he cant kiss the sisters, little rosina and her brother tua who give me a hug every time i see them and all the children whos eyes shine when i talk to them in my funny accent. ill miss sitting in homemade chairs made from various cupboard doors next to the sound of waves while we do our lesson and eat bananas. ill miss most of all my dear friends and sisters that ive made in serving with 8 different companions, their laughter and stupid stupid jokes together and our differences that became beautiful to me after a humbled myself. their examples to me that i will never forget. the realisation that every single person i met i think i needed to meet, especially mami salome who just changed my entire life and i dont know if ill ever see her again, it breaks my heart in a very real way. the very real way that a mission in tahiti is not a vacation- a vacation should not make one feel more alone at times than thought possible, or be so hard that you need to curl up in a small corner and cry. im made of the worst times where i pleaded my Heavenly Father for a pardon and i received it, along with the most sacred moments of my life on dirty tile floors that showed my really how much he exists and loves me. im made of his eternal presence, i know he is with us. thinking about how the Charles Dickens was right when he said through Jacob Marley

"Mankind was my business." and this is why he helped me learn two languages, and teach through them and through the spirit, and he helped me truly truly feel like i was making a difference in the small (but large) way that i can. he helped me forget myself

  im made of sacrament meetings and the unlikely people who showed up and made us thank heavenly father for pushing them to come, and im made of their tears when they finally found out that everything we said wasnt a joke.

itaia the 13 year old said to us the other day as we taught his family "everyone listens to you two! how do you do it? are you witches?"

truth is i dont even know the answer to that. i mean ive always held on to that little bit of hope that i wasnt a muggle... but i think the real magic doesnt actually come from the missionaries but the name on their chests. ive loved being a part of this army, the army of Jesus Christ. it's not a joke :) i know what ive learned and what ive learned to teach is TRUE, and that truth frees us. and i am free because now i am a true witness of what that truth does to people.

i have seen miracles and i cannot deny them.

im so full of love, ive been blessed so much i have not room to receive it. i dont have room in my suitcases to bring it all home 

ua hinaaro vau ia hoi mai i ta u fenua here i te hoe mahana. aita vau i heru ia farii te mau haamaitairaa mai tera i tau oraraa, ua here vau i te fenua tahiti no to mea ua farii vau ia iesu mesia i o nei.

i wish i could just send pics next week because the most miraculous family is ready to be baptised this saturday. Levy, Elvina and Titaua (the parents and the sister of little itaia.) if any of you have ever doubted yourselves, dont because the heavens opened on this little confused and lost family because their small son had the courage to do something different with his life.

the last and greatest truth is

HE LIVES.

and he accomplished the impossible.

in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

Letter from Dad 10/30/17

Hello Queen Audrey Anna the Resolute,

Do you recall the scene from “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe” where Aslan crowns the 2 sons of Adam and the 2 daughters of Eve and gives them their royal titles?

“To the glistening eastern sea, I give you Queen Lucy the Valiant. To the great western woods, King Edmund the Just. To the radiant southern sun, Queen Susan the Gentle. And to the clear northern skies, I give you King Peter the Magnificent. Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia. May your wisdom grace us until the stars rain down from the heavens.”

Have you ever wondered what your own title might have been in that scene?  There are a lot of words in scripture to describe those who are true disciples of Jesus Christ.  I have been pondering on what title I would now give you, at this time of completion.  I thought of a few, including “Audrey the Stalwart” and “Audrey the Steadfast.”  A writer named Francis Gibbons who was a member of the Seventy about 25 years ago wrote a series of prophetic biographies, all ending with the phrase “Prophet of God.”  Joseph Fielding Smith was well known for his gospel knowledge and study over a long lifetime and his biography was titled “Joseph Fielding Smith, Gospel Scholar, Prophet of God.”  President Benson was known for his patriotism and government service and had the title “Ezra Taft Benson, Statesman, Patriot, Prophet of God.   President Kimball, who was really the prophet of my childhood has my favorite title, and one I’ve pondered a lot on: “Spencer W. Kimball, Resolute Disciple, Prophet of God.”  That is where I chose the title at the beginning of today’s email from.  The word “resolute” defines as:

firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion

I am guessing that you, my Royal Resolute Daughter, are feeling a flood of emotions right now and the probable reaction for this coming week is going to be to bury yourself in work and pretend that next week isn’t coming.  Kind of like Grover in his book “There is a Monster at the End of this Book” that you’ll probably remember.  And if you do that I will be more proud than I can say.  One of the memories I most treasure from my whole mission came the week my parents came to pick me up.  We had already had our final testimony meeting with the end group, my fellow missionaries had already flown home, I had already had my final interview with the President and we took one last trip up north to Coquimbo to visit my favorite (and most distant) area.  It was the last thing we did before leaving Chile.  We had a big farewell party with so many people that I loved there and stayed overnight and the currently serving missionaries in that ward had a sick companion and a lesson to teach that night and I can’t remember how I found out about their dilemma but I gladly volunteered to go in the sick missionary’s place.  I hadn’t been released yet, so I was still an official missionary and went to teach one last lesson.  The missionary I went with commented that he couldn’t believe I was going with him since I was officially done and I answered something about how much I loved being a missionary… but that last night of teaching has since become one of my very favorite memories of all. 

Halloween party this week.  AJ and Nicole were voted the best costume of all.  But you won’t have any idea who they are until you come home and watch a TV show that is all the rage right now.  It’s kind of a recreation of the scene in E.T. where they go flying in the air on a bike.  And the rest of us you’ll get no problem I’m sure.  It is one of our better years for costumes although mine was too small and I couldn’t breathe.  But one family member hated his costume way more than I did… haha

Yesterday we had a great birthday party for Isaac who is now 13.  He got food, clothes, money, Legos, and a new phone.  And his own phone number.  Which I haven’t memorized yet. 

Know how much we love you and how much we are anticipating next week.  Audrey, you are such a blessing in our family.  Thank you for being a missionary these past 18 months.  You have served well and faithfully.  Matthew 25:23

I’ll end my email today with the lyrics to the ending song from the “Prince Caspian” Narnia movie which I think are extremely profound.  And remind me so much of the beginning and end of serving a mission:

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

Love, Dad

P.S.  And remember that Grover finds at the end of the book that everything turns out just fine. 😊

Taken 5 10/23/17

yo de lay hee hoooooooo

i live with two girls from france and one from switzerland. the swiss sister taught me how to yodel properly. you have to go into the mountains to do it, though, and also have a cow to yodel TO, but in any case i know the requirements now.

ive learned a lot of european things in the last few weeks of my life. like how to shave my legs by violently ripping out the hairs with a machine, how to sing french musicals, and put clay on my face. ive been taught which cheeses to try and mostly which ones to never go anywhere near (by the way, swiss cheese isnt really.. well, swiss). and i learned that one day i WILL go to europe. if it kills me.

anywho.

Rosina and Steeve got baptised this thursday!!!!!!!!! another man with my dads name is in the church. im so proud of them. :) rosina is 9 and Steeve is like 45 and they have absolutely no connection whatsoever... everyone kept on congratulating the father and his daughter, but then they just looked at each other with awkwardness and would say, "hes not my dad" or "i dont have any kids..." hahahaha i was way too entertained during the service. in tahiti baptisms are a big deal, after the service we put flower and seashell necklaces on the person who got dunked, kiss them, and go eat. actually those three things happen about everytime there is a party. necklaces, kissing, and food. tamaa maitai.

the young adults in our ward tricked us. they told us last wednesday night they had a reference for us to teach and so we picked two of them up (maud and teipo) and went to the church. they made us wait upstairs with them, saying their friends were coming soon. we just joked around until finally they said "oh they are here!" so we went back downstairs, then they led us outside and all of this was a little bit weird and fishy because there were cars everywhere and no sign of any investigator. then they covered our eyes and took us captive! it was intense and dark. when they let us open our eyes there was almost the entire ward playing their ukeleles and laughing with their beautiful eyes. in the middle of it all were two chairs just for sr meloen and i. we looked at each other with panic and almost started crying because our dang ward had thrown a surprise party for us. we played games, received lots of presents and sang songs. best thing ever. they made us bear our testimonies and i had no idea what to say... i just feel lost inside and empty.? but full. i ate so much this week. what is this?

im happy. life is great. i cant explain how much i love these people so i wont try peut etre.

i love you all!!!! see you next time

surprise party dab pics

us with our tahitian gifts

rosina :) i dont have a pic of steeve yet sorry