Hey mister tally man 9/26/16

honestly im not even mad you sent it to people hahaha i figured if i send my true feelings i might as well just make them known. hahaha im just a person right?

doing better, i feel kind of bad about sending so much negativity because thats all i do lol and i feel like im just this super frustrated stressful person sometimes. but last week i had this horrible fever and butt cheek painful sickness when i was writing!! i didnt wanna tell you that too haha but we are better now. i think that affected lots of emotions also.

this week ive been trying to have a more eternal perspective and just breathe. life is ok and this is just a time to learn. i cant control everything about my situation right now but i can control the way i feel about it. and i feel like its time to work and stop moping. time to learn, time to pray, time to learn. i am comforted knowing that im never alone. i have a thousand angels right behind me, and the best 7 of them live in hyde park utah.

im so grateful for this time. i need to just show heavenly father where my faith is

2 ne 4:19

heyooooo

me say dayooo

hows everyone? ill make this sorta quick because i am not blessed with tons of time today. i have been thinking lately about how everyone that i know is literally all over the WORLD. thats just a crazy thing, like this world is a pretty big place! but everyone is making their own little impact on their own little group of influence. i know some pretty awesome people too so this is gonna be good (thats the voice of that old lady in hercules)

so there was a transfer and what not! my new companion is sr Ho from Hong Kong and we are still kicking it in vaiari. life is getting different and im learning lots from my chinese companion, including how to make cool different kinds of soup with tofu. i really love this addition to my life. shes very wise, sassy and talented.

my sector has been difficult for the last... starting of my mission. we have at least 6 people who want to be baptised but there are just PROBLEMS. and little old me doesnt know how to solve them. how can i make people divorced or make peoples parents accept the baptism of their child when they have been protestants for generations and generations. or how can i make silly men stop abusing their wives and vise versa. problems problems problems. ive learned so much about how strong satan is, how well he knows how to attack our weaknesses personally. ive seen this in others and especially in myself. but ive also seen that GOD IS STRONGER

and with faith, and perseverance (even if we dont know why we persevere), there are tiny miracles that turn into great brilliant miracles after.

after the faith.
dandc 63:9 through11

keep going everyone. dont stop and dont doubt because when you stop, thats when satan has time to do something. never quit learning about how God looks at you. look at yourself through his eyes.

i love the sisters in my house. freaking love them. even if our house is kind of nasty

this message is approved by the giant spider in our bathroom.

Mommy 9/19/16

mommmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

mom holy flipper doodles i dont know what to send you but i just wanna talk for a long time: maybe forever: that works? cool. maybe ill just send you randoms until i drop.

you write me sufficiently and i appreciate it with all of my heart. your letters are all in this little bag that i have in my room and from time to time i go and i read them if i need a good pick me up.

which is often. im sort of ashamed to say that im not as positive as i used to be or thought i would be. everyone told me i would just make the best of everything and feel good about any situation but MAN MOM THE MISSION IS HARD

ITS HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

ok i just had to let that out. hahaha its a new therepy im working on. teretts. lol remember when my eye wouldnt stop twitching and then we said i was gonna start swearing at the pulpit? i miss your sense of humor, mom. i think i took it here sort of and i talk about toots sometimes. youre just so flipping rad and funny mom. never forget it.

it really is fine. theres just lots of changes and stupid things that happen and i am already tired of these responsibilities that i have at this point right now. i always ask myself how im gonna be a mom if i cant handle these responsibilities right now. i dont wanna worry about other peoples problems anymore and holy smoley mom, these people have SO MANY PROBLEMS. I wish i knew all the answers but i dont.

you went on a mission, is that how you felt sometimes? tell me some story or some advice.

on the bright side, and there are many, i freaking love my new companion. she makes me feel better and more like myself because shes just herself too. we are figuring things out together and shes teaching me a ton of things also. shes chinese, makes chinese food, shes tiny and sassy as heck. i love it. i hope we start picking things up in this sector eventually. i just have to find motivation because sometimes that is a little bit lost. oooh.

theres lots of nice and caring people. even if they are insane they are really top.

i love the sisters in my house right now. what would i do without the laughs we have had this week. transfers can be good.

i tripped on the same doormat three times the other day. still a clutz.

i still love to do accents.

im still sad im not gonna be there for the wedding but im pumped for aj. hes all grown up.

i think aj had a really hard mission and if he can do it, that makes me feel like i can do it. tell him he can send me advice anytime.

emily left the mission and the church. im really upset.

and sorry im venting so much. something that sr ho does is we have venting times. she tells me about how mean her other companion was and i tell her that i dont know how to be a missionary.

but i wanna stop blaming other people for how i feel. because a lot of the time i feel really good. its just some other times i feel really really crappy.

i saw a mini cooper here yesterday (which is rare because the cars here are trash) and i thought about you but what the heck crud? send me some pics of this marshmallow car that you have:??? you got some splaining to do mom

sorry again for the vent. im doing alright. love youuuuuuuuu

tell me more deets in the family. youre the best. loves and kisses and sweet sweets.

The poor dead slew 9/12/16

so....

i just finished reading all these things about marriage and broken trucks and what not. hahaha i screamed a lot and started crying and all of the sisters in our office here just freaked out too. we love the ring AJ hahahaha and they say you are beautiful. "ooooooh ils sont beau!!!!!!"

Ian i really hope you had a good birthday too!! i ate a piece of cake on the 8th in your honor but i forgot my camera so you cant see the ah man... im not gonna hide it from you guys that i just hate missing things. i hate it hate it hate it i just wanna be present for these fun times in the life of my family. and sometimes i dont know what im doing here. like, i get all worried that maybe i am doing everything TOTALLY WRONG and i am failing the Lord because of these silly personal problems i cant overcome. how does one overcome so many all at the same time while also trying to learn two languages, motivating an unmotivated ward with an unmotivated bishop, and unmotivated investigators with thousands of problems of their own? then i feel... unmotivated. and selfish.

at the same time, i will NOT deny that i have had some of the most personally spiritual and edifying experiences of my life here. I have felt the most love and comfort in my very worst moments. i have been driven to my knees so many times to simply ask for the strength and motivation to keep smiling. if anything, i know that HE LISTENS. that this church is true and that God loves his children. i know that jesus christ our savior and he will not leave us stranded. he has done everything and so much more. he has already conquered these things that are hard for me.

2 Ne 4:15-19

ok. well i have some time today so im gonna write some other longer things :) mom, i think i already talked about the food? but we eat various things here.

-bread bread bread and actually its really good. like french baguettes. theres really good cheese here also.

-fruits that are either really good or just scary and give diarreah. things ive never heard of

- tons of raw fish mixed with veggies and unhealthy sauces. really yummyyyyy but also gives me diarreah hahaha. i eat it anyway.

- tons and tons of chicken, fatty pork, steak, fries, all sorts of really heavy stuff. tons and tons and tons of meat and fish. they love to pour mayo and ketchup on everything too, or other weird sauces that ive never heard of. i just eat what they give me.

- SO MUCH CAKE

i actually like the food here most of the time. if its the traditional food, thats scary.

dad im glad you cried when you read the jungle book. its a good book i need to read it again someday

nooooo first coldplay now mumf and sons ahhhh you lucky kids

i am chatting with spencer felix right now and just the happiest person :) tell his fam hi for me please and congrats to brit crazy sauce

congrats durrant frisbee make yourselves some t shirts hahaha

the poor slew.............. almost dead. ill keep it alive for at least another 13 months hahaha but after that there is no promise. theres all these.. people who wanna marry me and stuff

serious you were in indiana a year ago??? ah man ça passe vit

mom: are you excited to plan a christmas and a marriage at the same time and to be a mom in law and stuff? hahahaha lololol have funnnnnnnnn

dad: your poor eyes. just glue the glasses to your face or something

aj: you are a little rushed? fixing the temple date before the proposal even! thats confidence hahaha. qsjdrfopqziejrnk you guys are cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ah man i am pumped for you. dont hesitate to send details. christmas is soon! so soon. where for the honeymoon? wink wink

ian: send me some pics im still waiting! and i cant belive you cheated out on the opportunity to wear a morph suit in a tree for brooklyn fowers. silly boy. hahaha youre still searching for a little friend? wink wink

teesh!!! give me some life deets. are you playing the piano still and always cooking weird stuff or doing science experiments?

isaac: happy birthday carl comes from when you told me you all said that at the fireworks or something. tell the rest of our crazy family please. youre not getting married anytime soon right?

say hello to everyone for me. moms side of the family too i dont have a ton of emails :)

looooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu you all are my rock and my force! stay strong my fam and happy trails to you until we meet again

i think tarzan came out? how was that?

"Not the centipedes"

hey world, the bigger world outside of a tiny island in the ocean someplace :)

this week. same old same old. actually there isnt really a same old in tahiti. too much stuff happens. for example, i have this allergy to mosquitos or something and so my bites sometimes turn into infectious owies... sorry not too pretty. its really not a big deal but the tahitians decide that they are going to save my life. each different tahitian. you have to understand that they are very loving and very determined to really fix this problem for me with their strange remedies... so far they have tried:

-slathering me in mono'i (locally made oil that smells good but doesnt do smack)

- making me drink ginger and water and i hope not other things

- rubbing garlic on my skin

- coming to our house with all kinds of medicine that has no relation to infections

- heres the winner. someone killed the giant centipedes that live here, put them in a jar with alcohol and ginger and water, and let it sit there for a long time. then they PUT IT ON MEEEEE noooooooooooo

theres always a new story like this. i cant tell them all.

but anyways. there is a transfer and im staying here in vaiari but bye bye sr xowi, my favorite new caledonian. i have no idea actually when my new companion will come because shes actually on a different island right now! oh no. but her name is sr ho and shes from china! like the only chinese missionary in the whole ocean i think :) im pumped to meet her one day.... for now i will be alone with the other sisters and work with my members. :) pray for me the little lonely just finished training missionary.

also pray for my bro who just got HITCHED!!!  or just attack him or something.

#teamajandnicole #mignon

love you. love you all. keep it real and remember that christ has done it all for us already, we just need to show an effort.

stay strong my friends

#swag

sorry i forgot my camera procaine fois

Caveman 9/5/16

i am the worst email writer sorry world but we dont have time!! ill just send a few happenings:

- its a funny place here. french is such a refined and classy language, and we all speak it here. at the same time, i sometimes have the impression that im speaking to cavemen or something. everyone walks around with no shirt and no shoes and they just rip apart coconuts and drink the coconut milk right then and there.

- we did a service project this week and cut some crazy grass with some crazy machetes. i learned how to throw the machete right into the ground like a warrior.

- we went to the temple with an ami and met these people there. one of them was handicapped but he talked to her with the help of his friend who translated. im convinced they were angels, or nephites or something. the mysterious people said everything she needed to hear exactly.

- i got sunburned

- rained on

- at the moment we dont have any water. but its fine we find ways to shower and do the dishes :)

- i had a lizard under my bed

uhh thats all :) love you all keep up the good work and remember there are miracles ahead. christ is in the details. god prepares us by the little things, just pay attention to them.

So 8/29/16

welp. i dont really know what to write here. congrats to curtis and the gang and im glad you all got to go camping recently and that youre all having a fun time. i miss you all a ton and would love to just give you all a big hug right now.

good flipping luck to everyone at school! just remember who you are everyone and dont forget to study hard!

sorry about last week, we were en ville at papeete for most of the day. there are some cool things there, like tourists and big seasehlls that they sell.

i want you all to know that i get these weird infections from mosquito bites and even zits. the air is weird here. ive also lost some weight and people comment on it but im not sure how that happened because i eat Junky crud hahaha. i promise i eat promise promise

merci famm for your support. i really really love you tons and tons

oh flippppppp everything is crazy!! teesh is in north cache, ian plays football, and aj; well, i have not comment. good luck bud

Isaac i dont know if anything is different but youre probaby taller

dad and mom love you tons. i hold you all close