i live 8/22/16

i cannot write right now because there is no time and im actually at a membershouse for family night and they told me i could pass a quick message to all of you. that is:

i love you lots and this week was just grand.

have a happy week ill read everything later!

dangue it! 8/15/16

ha. i know i am clever but thats pretty much all that happened this week lol. i just stayed at the house with my miserably sick companion after tuesday which was super productive and great, but then suddenly everyone in my house got super sick except me. so then i cleaned a lot and read a lot and studied a lot and stressed a lot for a couple of days about how our amis were going to fail without us, i wasnt a good missionary, yadda yadda... 

but then sr hubert, my grandma who is going home on thursday, reminded me that i cant change these things and the savior knows exactly what he is doing. and then augustine larsen the angel she is made me remember that yes god loves me and i can do it. 

so after lots of stress, tears, calling people for how to treat someone with dangue fever, and trying to give her food, i just decided to be me and feel the spirit. 

thats all that really needs to happen, i decided. be you, feel the spirit, and talk to your sick companion until you learn something new from her. even if you dont understand everything, you can ask questions. even if you feel sad, you can still show someone sadder a smile. even if you are totally incapable, you can lean on someone who is all capable. 

thats his design and thats his goal for us. to realize his power in us through forgetting ourselves. 

slowly slowly. 

Love you all so much. i love these people with all of my heart. this week a woman walked up to me that i knew not at all, and she gave me a cake. just like that. and someone gave me some tahitian robes. someone else gave me a hymnbook. it is really not hard to love here, even though they dont wear very many clothes at all or deoderant hahaha. they look into the heart. they value the things of the heart. and theyre so flippin funny.

im learning, i can say that haha. miracles are real and true. so is this church, the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. you know why? because God loved his children enough to give us one straight path to follow. its not hard to understand. maybe its hard to always stay on it but it is there clear as day. the light in the darkness. 

thanks my friends and dear family. talk to you again soon! laugh and laugh and laugh. trouvez la joie. 

pics: some members, my black friends, my poor sick comanion 

meat 8/8/16

hey big daddy fam

i will send some fun details in this email to you all hahaha because mom asked lots of times (mommy i got your letter with your cool pen and your story about your little incident that made me laugh to the highest heavens among some other missionaires and i couldnt explain to them why i was dying. thank you)

food: okay its not all disgusting. its pretty good for the most part actually but really unhealthy hahaha. i havent gained too much weight actually, but i dont eat a ton during the day until the members feed us in the evenings and i exercise a ton in the morning so huzzah! i think ive eaten raw fish every day here but i love it. its like, just plain fish right off the fish and you put this yummy sauce on it. they eat a ton of rice, beans, MEAT MEAT MEAT and sugary things. they love love love their juice here. its like super sugary and great. theres also a ton of strange weird fruits that are so foreign to me and i had no idea existed before. like theres this kind of banana that doesnt actually taste like a banaa, more like a pumkin. and lots of strange fruits that are super dense and remind me of potatoes and bread. i dont very often eat salad or super vegetabley filled things. i have a lot of zits hahaha everything is oily and buttery! yay buttah makes me happy.

its the traditional food that scares me. thats just a bunch of... things all throw together in this strange coconut milk. like rotten spinach and pork fat and weird weird fruits that shouldnt be with the other things.

and fafaaru is fish that has completely rotted in a jar. i havent eaten that but a member showed it to me and i thought i would die. apparently i need to eat it before i am tahitian

my favorite thing: the children. oh heck i love them. they are so insane and there is no end to them touching my flipping hair. i am just known as the sister with yellow hair hahaha. im so done with my hair though its hot and gross. i think im literally the only blonde person here for miles around. and my face is red. but anyway i play with the kids when i feel uncomfortable because they really think im hilarious and then they laugh with me a lot and help me with my french. they are CUTE CUTE CUTE

so there ya have it. tahitian facts

i had a dream last night that i was still on the mission but for some reason i came home for a bit because it was just allowed. it was like this thing where you get to take a vacation every once in a while from work hahaha and go somewhere so i went home. i was cooking something with grandma at home with all of you there just laughing and it was so great. suddenly nicole came over and told me that she was going to serve another mission and she knew it was gods plan for her. aj started to get really upset and even cried a little.

hahahaha it was funny.

hey fam keep being yourselves and progressing on this eternal path. i am so grateful for you. there are so so so so SO many family problems here, like i am so discouraged for these people and dont know how to help them. but its made me so grateful for you, that we are eternally sealed together and unnaturally close to each other and we dont hate or abuse or lie to each other. cest un bon chose. je vous aime tous. vous etes tous dans mon coeur et mes priers tout les soirs et tout les matins et tout d'autre temps.

have a good week and keep playing monoply you weirdos. dad hang in there and remember to breathe once in a while ok? keep laughing my fam and i will keep finding things to laugh at like these crazy people.

old men love me 8/1/16

dearest fambly

i dun had my bath in may

thats how i feel right now anyway hahaha i literally am never ever clean or very pretty but the cool thing is here, no one flipping cares! i could be covered in mustard and cow dung and people would probably still be nice to me and tell me my hair is pretty. they wont stop touching it. im friends with a whole hoard of little girls just thanks to my hair. thanks for the blonde genes!

i again dont have much time at all! i would like to thank you all for your emails and support and funny thoughts and snail mail! i got the letters from teesh and frost from july first hahaha. funny because today is august first! lololol funnyyyyyyy merci beaucoup teesh and frost you made me laugh heaps

on p days we do lots of fun stuff! we go on a lot of hikes and see cool waterfalls with other missionaries and our investigators! we go to papeete sometimes and today i ate flower ice cream. it was good. but yeah the internet is sketchy here and we dont have tons of time. i love love your letters but dad it would be easier and less stressful if they werent 15 minute letters lol ;) love you quand meme et je blague un peu

french... this is hard. sometimes i go days without speaking english at all and then i am so exhausted from trying to listen and understand. but its coming and i actually feel pretty competent in following a conversation now. people seem surprised when i tell them its my first sector sometimes so i guess thats a good sign. i know i have been blessed to learn quick but i am impatient with myself

tahitian is a whole other story haha we wont talk about that

our investigators are so cool but they all have this one little block keeping them from baptism. their parents wont accept it or like divorce or they go to bed too late and (ok heres tahitians for ya) they didnt have time to read the book of mormon or go to church because they ate so much they slept for 17 hours. this happens. how does one overcome this hahahahaha

this week i got to go to the temple. i am so so so grateful we were able to do that. it really gave me a new perspective on a lot of things

i also jammed my finger ian. the mean volleyball killed me and its purple and big

a 45 year old man in my ward expressed his love for me and it was just so uncomfortable. what am i supposed to do about that huh? yeek

ok fam i gotta scoot. love you tons and tons. i am sunburned

glad you like the jason bourn aj sorry everyone else that they are all the same movie hahaha

ayyyy chapeau to all the missionaries who are returning!!! tell my buddies hi for me! ca fait un long temp sorry dad that the jungle book didnt work. that was teh last movie i saw remember? but the new one which wasnt actually as good as the old one. the second to last movie i saw was in the heart of the sea with chris whats his face the attractive one.

i am with papi tautu right now and he says he is my new papa adoptive and i cant leave; SO I GUESS THATS THAT .

mom love you thanks for replying at clem she loves you and shes gonna send you something sometime i think hahaha

ian how is football i want pics of your huge biceps in the tight uniform eh

teesh and frost really thanks for the letters they did me good. did me good.

happy birthday carl

im telling you its el macho

loves and kisses

- nansy

yes it's all true 7/25/16

short one sorry 

these computers marchent pas!!!!! i have like exactly.... no minutes to write you people but its ok! 

ahh ok i think i felt every kind of emotion this week from like complete hopelessness to just joy out the wazoo you know but what is new? not much. sorry that i didnt really read your emails to me yet so i cant respond to them but thanks for whatever advice you gave me and kind words hahaha. sorry that i complained about my companino and then played lawyer again i know i always do that and its stupid because im the one who complains eh? i know this is a trial but its a trial just for me and im gonna learn. 

heres some facts that i know youre wondering about and then im gonna have to zip. 

yes there is peanut butter here and i highly abuse that priviledge

yes there are plenty cocroaches and they freak me out to no end

if you get fb request from someone named clementine just accept them because she is my best friend

i talked to a drunk man the other day and he told me all about how he lives on the road and the trees and wants a wife just like me. i tried really hard to share the gospel but yeah haha it didnt really go

tahiti is as beautiful as you think 

also so so dirty. i am never ever clean 

 yes i have a pretty mean tan line everywhere

ok i love you all!!! mom i got your letter from alaska hahaha thank you!! cried a lot when i read it

the dragon who ate cake all the days 7/18/2016

 

ok ok first of all: sorry that everyone thinks my companion is a dud. she is so loving and while she really doesnt want to train, she is a good missionary still and has a lot of love for everyone and i like her a lot. i think she like me most of the time she doesnt talk too much when she is tired or hungry or... i dont know. shes a lot like my comp in the mtc who didnt wanna communicate when there was a problem but i love her still!! i have confidence that i am supposed to learn something from her like i learned from s mendenhall too. c'est juste ca. ca va aller!

also you two thank you so much for your words. sorry for the kind of sad email last week i didnt mean for it to be so emotional but yikes hahaha. mom made me do it she always gets these things out of me.

but ok this week was so cool. i just decided enough was enough on wednesday morning and got on my knees and said "ok. i dont really have the strenght, love, capacity or even slightest ability to do this so please just lend me some of yours." then i had such a good week and didnt even care at the end of the days if things had gone wrong because also things had gone right and god is here for me. he was just like "ok Knock and it shall be opened!" and gave me a whole lot of mojo.

on saturday morning we had a baptism for haitiare. she is this sweet 18 year old girl who takes care of her little brother and sister, her dad is paralysed and cant move besides one arm and leg. her mom died about 8 years ago. they have like nothing but her testimony is just killer.

we were riding our bikes right along to the chapel and i was kind of having another anxious morning and began thinking real hard about the voyage of the dawn treader, how eustace steals the treasure and turns into this big ugly dragon. all he can do is fly around and not communicate with anyone because obviously dragons dont speak human (unless youre watching dragon tails which i recommend). anyway, eventually he is fed up with being a dragon, has a change of heart and wants to be a good boy, but try as he might he cant rip off his scaly skin. its not until Aslan comes and roars this wonderful roar that he is able to step out of that hard skin and become eustace again, but better.

this applies to me because i guess i feel like eaustace the big ugly dragon here sometimes. but let me tell you. haitiare asked me if i would speak about the holy ghost at the baptism and i did. as i was speaking, i think Aslan the lion came and ripped that dragon right off of me. not the first time it's happened here, but i felt such pure love for this girl who despite so many torrential trials remains strong and loving. and now she has made this promise to remember our savior and redeemer, our example, forever.

slowly, with the help of jésus christ, after one month in Tahiti, i am seeing big changes in Audrey durrant. not just my stomach because they feed me so much. the more my stomach grows, the more my love and faith grow hahaha. :) seriously though im so grateful for christ and that he has overcome the effects of our weaknesses. he has overcome our imperfections for us. we just gotta catch up by changing our hearts. change every day. be better every day.

love you all. all is well. thanks for the pictures and dad no one sends them to me!! i am so happy you all had a fun time backpacking!!! we tried to hike today but it was closed. saw a cool waterfall though. thanks for the uplifting words dad and mom i am so proud to be your fille!! families are 4evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! mom way to GO at girls camp!! i hope you always always say what is in your heart like that because you are Wise and have a really cool heart. i tell people about you guys a lot. then they want to see photos and then they freak out and say wow your brothers are handsome your parents are Young you are all so tall who is that your sister she is so blonde

oh funny story: we were at the house of marc, who will probably get baptised if he can ever figure out how to get divorced and married again. but he gave me some juice and i drank it. as i was drinking it, he pointed and said "tu aime le Jack Daniels?" the look on my face must have been hilarious cause they busted up even before i started hacking. i was so tempted to shout "i SWALLOWED IT" like dad after i got myself together. it wasnt really alcoholic lol.. dont worry.

random fact about Tahiti: everyone here is obsessed with cake. not sure why. always "on va manger le gateau maintenant!!!" like it's the thing we have been waiting for our whole lives. i even smell a gateau now because there is an oven at the chapel.

love you. you are the reason i am here. once again dad really that is the goal- eternal family. yes i feel so victorious!!! woohooooo

The beauty of dirty knees 7/11/16

hey world im sorry for not writing last week! we had an activity with some very rich members who live on a mountain in Tahiti. if anyone ever has the chance to go up a mountain in Tahiti, please go because youll never see anything more beautiful. besides my face.

hehehe

ok but heres the scoop

i love it here and its also so difficult. the language sometimes clicks and sometimes i swear that the two months in the mtc didnt do a single thing for me and i just came here a newborn naked English child. maybe that would be better because kids learn faster than Audrey durrants

other things are hard too and i get really discouraged on occasion.  but this week i read a letter from a dear friend and it said

"lean on him for EVERYTHING. he wants you to. thats his purpose and his design. no where else could you have just the right trials."

there are trials like im confused and feel so alone sometimes and just dont understand. i feel like a lost puppy dog which is never fun. one day this week, a missionay in our house got in an accident, and then this dog that lives at our house bit someone and it was such a stressful day hahahaaaa aaaaaa

but theres so many blessings and tender mercies. and funny stuff. like mami and papi gunahoa who are my new parents here. they feed us so many crepes. like the lady we found and taught who told us she has never shared with any other religion but she felt something different when we were talking to her. like the little girl that i was playing with who just stood up and kissed me on the cheek. or the poor 10 year old boy who accidentally walked in on me going to the bathroom because no houses have doors here hahahahaha the poor kid. and the fact that i never knew how much it would mean to me to receive an ensign in English. maybe its hard right now simply because of the time im forced to my knees because of no where else to turn.

the sun will always come up and show that in the darkness and confusion, you really learned to see. 

i love being a missionary. love y'all. GOD IS REAL

July 4 2016

hey there buddies

im so sorry again i have no time today the internet has a really hard time connecting and we came back late from shopping at the french walmart called carrefour which is actually way better than walmart

and i cant type fast still haahah

ok so heres a few things im sorry for not describing much last week*

im sometimes terrified for my life. these people are so insane but also so chill. no idea hoz to describe it haha. i think i got asked on a date to my own Church concert this week and also this guy tried to kiss me (thats kind of normal here) he was also drunk.

but they are also so so kind. if you say absolutely anything about how you need this or need that or if you start itching one of your thousand bug bites, they run around in a frantic Frenzy trying to find you a cure. doors are alwats open (if they have doors) and there is always music youre right.

honestly the last couple of weeks have been the very most difficult thing ever and i have felt really lonely a lot. i miss you guys a ton. i didnt think at first that s xowi liked me very much but that is ok now because i humbled myself and found ways to relate despite our cultural and language différences. shes really not an assertive person and so thats good for me because i have to take a lot of initiative. but wow i love her. she makes me laugh a lot and always makes sure that i am ok. shes really an angel. Learning slowly to love everyone and everything. its not too hard hahaha i just have to laugh at the things i dont understand and go with the flow like this culture.

theres this family here that we are teaching comprising of two girls a boy and their dad who is bedridden always. they have nothing but the second girl who is 16 came to Church yesterday! i have spent a lot of time crying with her because i just feel the love of christ so hard for her and for her trials. she cannot live a normal life but she is so loving and i just hope so bad she will lwant to be baptised soon. i wish i could tell the story in more detail but she has influenced me so much

we have a dog named franco and i woke up the other morning because she was in labor hahaha. she now has txo living puppies and two dead ones... but it made me think of dad hahaha.

also the food is not good hahahaa yucky yuck! i mean there are some good things. i am not gonna die

i didnt email anyone else haha sorry if anyone asks you can send them this

tell everyone i love them

love all of you mom dad aj ian Isaac teesh bell. honestly my heart is gonna fall out bvecause i love you so much

i promise i laugh a lot and love a lot. every night i can see that ive accomplished another day and i feel the blessings from this cloudy time. i know im in the right place and here is where i will stay :)

it is christ who makes us whole.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 6/27/2016

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

very much thats all i really have to say; i love this place a lot. literally it is so beauitful allt he time: please excuse my words bc i cannot make sense of this frenchy keyboard right now. there. hereùs a few other things to start off zith because i dont knoz where to begin.

i am never dry ever; my sectors name is vaiari and its in papeari which means water kingdom. rain rain rain and when there is not rain there is just water droplets hanging out in the air i swear.

the people are so nice and they just do not care. the culture is so flipping open and inviting. i love it. there is always music, laughter, gross dirty animals of all sorts, strange fruit and raw fish, and interesting smells surrounding me

Now if only i could understand what anyone was saying to me......

haha my trainer soer xowi is from new caledonia and speaks very good french and like no English. neither do the other two girls in my house haha. but this is good because i am very forcibly Learning how to communicate. one of the members told me that i was the best american french speaker theyve heard but i think that was just a little too good to be true.... e e. honestly that has been really hard and overwhelming for me but all will be well. ive said a lot of dumb things that i will laugh at later! and god is real never forget that one

heres a funny story that basically describes everything thats heppened so far

we were riding bikes in the rain and came across a couple of men playing the guitar and ukelele. people are very talented here. and drunk. Anywho. one of them had a ring of hair on his head and the rest was shaved.... like there was just a ring of hair and i dont knoz how else to explain it. he played us some songs and then asked if we wanted to play. So i kind of just played some chords on the uke and the ohter man played zith me for a minute. Then before i could remember how to say im a missionary the drunk hair ring man Grabbed me and took a selfie with me

yeah

also a lizard crawled in my m&ms and i caught it

love you all i cannot zrite more to anyone desole we are gonna go dance like tahitians

also i have 136 bug bites on my legs: i counted.

2222222 years 6/17/2016

Hey homies who live in my home. I don't have a ton of time today. I actually have none time and I feel like a crazy woman who's eyes are only open because my body is constantly moving and I need to not bump into things and die. 

This week WAS SO FAST. I don't even know where the time goes and I kind of get overwhelmed because one thing moves onto the next so quickly, but I am not even out of the mtc yet and I hear the field does that x 65. 

Needless to say, I have a lot of worries. We are meeting at the travel office monday morning at 7:20 a.m with a few hour layover in L.A and then we will get to Tahiti at around 10:00 monday night. so not bad at all! :) pretty lucky. 

this is weird. 

every night I go to bed and I am so so so excited!!!! I can't even sleep. but then every day I wake up and have some anxiety that sort of lasts a long time throughout the day with a lot of worries about the language... cause these are my last few days where I will not be the minority in a language. I've never been anywhere where I couldn't communicate and so that terrifies me. 

but also, I know I can do a few things: 

1. I can love people a lot

2. I can pray 

3. I can try my very best

SO IT WILL BE OKAY!!!

But yeah, I need a favor. can somebody please try to put like a couple hundred dollars into my account?? I almost have enough but after like 29 tries at the atm I couldn't get enough money and I think it's because of insufficient funds. I can't see my account. but I need a bike and I need to survive lol so help please

DAD HAPPY BIRTHDAY i LOVE YOU SO SO SOS SO MUCH your letter will get there soon to our house but you can't see it for a while. 

MOM AND DAD HAPPY ANNIVERSARY 2222222 YEars 

DAD HAPPY FATHERS DAY I LOVE YOU AGAIN SO MUCH

Ian please spill. did you kiss someone spesh?

aj spill did you finally kiss someone too? 

theo, I know you are guilty also. 

I wish i had time to respond to everyone but just know for now that someday you will know everything maybe. you all keep me going. :) my life is the best right now and I love it. I'm so grateful for this opportunity. 

have fun on the cruise!!!! i adore all of you! here's my flight plans so yeah I'll call someone between 1:15 and 4:40 if I'm not converting the entire airport. lol.